Stephen Hawking Sextape

This is hilarious.

"When I'm finished, you will hurt so bad"

This week's nominee for the Fifth Beatle - Phil Spector

The Case For: Phil Spector took on the Herculean task of taking hours of recordings from the Get Back sessions in 1969 and assembled the Beatles' final LP release, Let It Be. He went on to produce some of the greatest Beatle solo albums, including George Harrison's All Things Must Pass and Concert for Bangledesh and John Lennon's Plastic Ono Band and Imagine.

Pros: The greatest pop music producer ever, his "Wall of Sound" inspired virtually every rock band after 1960, produced epic albums like Leonard Cohen's Death of a Ladies Man (1977), the Ramones' End of the Century (1980), had a cool cameo in Easy Rider

Cons: Is probably a murderer, is definitely fucking nuts. Wears insane wigs that would make Divine blanch. Kept his first wife a virtual prisoner in their mansion for a decade, even showing her a gold coffin with a glass top and promising that he'd kill her and put her on display if she ever left him. Held a gun to Dee Dee Ramone's head and made him play bass to his exact specifications on End of the Century. Once released a dance record called "Let's Do The Screw!"

Verdict: Some of the Beatles were misogynistic pricks some of the time, but Phil Spector has been a full-time celebrity psychopath for 5 decades. One hopes he gets a justly deserved murder conviction and he gets stripped of that dead animal on his skull before going to the Big House

REJECT

How bizarre

How bizarre.

Friday YouTube Nugget

For this week's installment, I decided to go in the wayback machine to a live performance from Marvin Gaye in Montreaux in 1980. The man still had those golden pipes, but already had the look of a crazed coke fiend. Sad the think that a scant four years after this performance, he would be shot by his own father in the midst of a drug-fueled rampage. In any case, enjoy "Got To Give It Up"

RIP Marvin Gaye - the greatest male vocalist there ever was.

P.S. - I love how Marvin makes the geek MC introduce him 5 or 6 times.
P.P.S. - Dig the chick in the back rockin' the afro. MORE COWBELL.

Sophie's Choice

So......whom do you keep? Drury or Briere? My gut feeling is that Drury is going to be offered a Brink's Truck in free agency, while Briere's star has been dimmed by his (perceived) dismal performance in the playoffs and we have a realistic shot at keeping him. The general consensus I hear is dump Briere, keep Drury. This is motivated by everyone's perception that Briere is an expendable player who tanked in the playoffs. Let's take a look at the stats for the real story, shall we?

REGULAR SEASON:

Briere - 81 games, 32 goals, 63 assists, 95 points, +17, 6 GW

Drury - 77 games, 37 goals, 32 assists, 69 points, +1, 9 GW

PLAYOFFS:

Briere - 16 games, 3 goals, 12 assists, 15 points, +3, 1 GW

Drury - 16 games, 8 goals, 5 assists, 13 points, +3, 3 GW

So what do we take from this? Notwithstanding the fact that Briere was the Sabres' leading scorer in the playoffs, people still think Briere was a bust in the playoffs. I will grant that he was inconsistent throughout and just disappeared in a couple key games (Game 5 vs. the Rangers, for example)...however, I am not so quick to dismiss Briere, his talent, what he has done for this team and what he can do for us.

Drury has been a savior for this franchise...I read a letter to the News that compared him to Jim Kelly in terms of the impact one player can have on a team and I agree completely. Drury restored respectability and confidence to a franchise and a city that were lacking in both in the hockey world. However, he didn't do all alone...there's a reason why Briere and Drury are co-captains and I doubt that Briere has any less respect from his teammates in the locker room than Drury.

It says here that the Sabres should give up on the fantasy of re-signing both players and focus their attention on Briere. It's highly unlikely they'll match the king's ransom Drury will be offered, while Briere will sign for a reasonable amount.

Scooter Is Guilty As A Motherfucker

I'm as crooked as a dog's hind leg

So I'm reading YET another tortured defense of the convicted criminal Scooter Libby, this time by fake liberal Richard Cohen of the Washington Post. What horseshit:

"This is not an entirely trivial matter since government officials should not lie to grand juries, but neither should they be called to account for practicing the dark art of politics"

"dark art of politics"? What the fuck is that? In my day, it was called "an act of treason". The man did, after all, participate in the disclosure of a covert government agent's identity. I thought Cohen's nadir was when he declared, in print, that he was funnier than Stephen Colbert. This column is ten times more delusional.

Friday YouTube Nugget

For my inaugural Friday selection of a rare (or not) viddy from the great and wonderous YouTube, I give you the supremely awesome pairing of Bobby Darin and Stevie Wonder...this is, I believe, from Darin's 1969 TV special and they rock the shit out of "If I Were A Carpenter"

Enjoy

Note to Self...

Never, ever, ever go to Towne Restaurant for a meal of any kind after 11 pm. Good Christ....I feel like I'm being eaten from the inside out.

Return of the Mack

Prompted by a friend to ditch my laziness and sloth, I am once again blogging. Let the brilliance commence

Saddam Hussein/Forrest Tucker: Separated At Birth?

After Abu Gharib, Guantanamo, shipping detainees off to torture-friendly regimes so we keep our hands "clean", one could have expected this was coming...

[PHOTO CENSORED FOR EXCESSIVE EX-DICTATOR JUNK]

Now, what is one to make of this? I think it's interesting that the publications which broke these pictures were both Rupert's organs of filth in the U.K (Sun) and the States (Post). Before I get all tin-foil-hatted, though, blame needs to be placed where it belongs - who the hell is guarding him? David LaChappelle?

Of course, any rational person who sees this as the embarrassing episode it is will be tarred and feathered by the Sabbath Gasbags® in charge of the GOP and their lickspittle grunts in the 101st Fighting Keyboardists...witness this charming bit of fascism from the Sun's editor (bold is mine):

"They are a fantastic, iconic set of news pictures that I defy any newspaper, magazine, or television station who were presented with them not to have published," he said. "He's not been mistreated. He's washing his trousers. This is the modern-day Adolf Hitler. Please don't ask us to feel sorry for him."

Yeah, douchebag....the way to deal with the modern Hitler is to publish a picture of him in his tighty-whiteys so you and your fellow thigh-rubbers can have a grand third-grade giggle while insulting Arabs around the globe.

Sabbath Gasbags is a registered trademark of Calvin Trillin - that bastard

The Rank Hypocrisy of the "Nuclear Option"

Frist and his gang are making a mockery of 200 years of Senate procedure. And, apparently, Dr. Cat-Killer feels very differently when he's the one doing the filibustering :

"This morning on the floor of the Senate, Sen. Chuck Schumer asked Majority Leader Bill Frist a simple question:

SEN. SCHUMER: Isn’t it correct that on March 8, 2000, my colleague [Sen. Frist] voted to uphold the filibuster of Judge Richard Paez?

Here was Frist’s response:

The president, the um, in response, uh, the Paez nomination - we’ll come back and discuss this further. … Actually I’d like to, and it really brings to what I believe - a point - and it really brings to, oddly, a point, what is the issue. The issue is we have leadership-led partisan filibusters that have, um, obstructed, not one nominee, but two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, in a routine way. "

Welcome to my blog

Just started...more to come