Bart Simpson Worships At The Temple Of L. Ron Hubbard's Fat Ass

Wow....the lady who provides the voice for Bart Simpson is a Scientologist, which is neither surprising nor disturbing to me. What does knock me for a loop is that this chick gave the Church of Scientology $10 million in 2007:

"Longtime Scientologist Nancy Cartwright — best known as the voice of Bart Simpson — last year gave the church $10 million to help spread the word of founder L. Ron Hubbard into other galaxies.

It was all part of Scientology’s Global Salvage effort, which aims to “de-aberrate” Earth — meaning to rid mankind of psychology ills and other “aberrant” behavior.

Surprisingly, Nancy, 50, forked over twice as much as the Scientology’s most prominent member, Tom Cruise, who only gave $5 million in an installment plan... "

And here I thought Tom Cruise was Scientology's global ambassador. Ms. Cartwright puts his cheap ass to shame!

It's her money and all and she's free to flush it down the toilet, if she so desires....but damn! $10 million! When we have impoverished Haitians eating dirt for sustenance, there's got to be better uses for all that filthy Simpsons lucre...

Shorter State of the Union Address

"Y'all are fucked. Goodnight and God bless"

Friday YouTube Nugget

The YouTube title says it all - "Australian Party Goes Tits Up"

This guy is my new hero. A mix of McQueen-esque cool with a definite air of detachment and, I daresay, obliviousness. My favorite part is where the over-officious interviewer keeps asking him to take his sunglasses off and he refuses, saying "They're famous"

This guy should plan Gabs' going-away party.

Friday YouTube Nugget

I've always loved the instrumental version of the Smiths' "Please, Please Please Let Me Get What I Want" that appeared in Ferris Bueller's Day Off....I believe it was a version by the Dream Academy. Anyway, I went-a huntin' on YouTube and could only find this clip of it being used as background music for the Weather Channel. Oh well....

Can't. Turn. Away. Won't. Turn. Away. Televised. Opium.

Welcome to another exciting season of American Idol!

I'm not as addicted as I used to be, but God-damn, I love me some AI Audition trainwrecks. My favorite tonight was the Star Wars nerd girrl whose gruff exterior no doubt masks some heavy, bitter pain that's been internalized way too long. And fake Leia curls? Boooo!

Anyway, the classic moment occurs right after her inevitable rejection by the panel. She storms outside, into the waiting arms of her normal-looking grandparents, who I'm sure are thrilled that their legacy dresses like a bondage slut and boasts about being the belle of the ball at a Star Wars 30th anniversary convention. Grandpappy was positively beaming.

Faux-Leia is screaming and cursing up a storm about how they won't give somebody different-looking a chance (apparently, young Leia forgot what show she's auditioning for) and Grandpappy is trying to shush her...no doubt motivated by his belief that people on TV shouldn't swear. This guy probably holds The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour as his model for how people on TV should act. Granny and Gramps are hugging their poor, misbegotten nieta to calm her down and....oops! One of Faux Leia's ear curls falls right off! Snark!

I never laughed as hard this week as I did when Grandpappy kept trying to hand her back her curl while Leia the Drama Queen was ranting about postmodern biases on television against non-mainstream people, or some such shit. Damn, this season is going to be good....

UPDATE - as per Greg's request, here's a video of the whole sad saga

Re: "Who Is Obama" - I Hate Goddamn E-Mail Sometimes

So my mother's friends think it's cute when they (rabid, reactionary conservatives) send me (bleedingist-of-hearts liberal) chain e-mails about how Hillary is conspiring with Al-Queda to take over our country and how John Kerry faked getting shot (twice, mind you) to win his Purple Hearts in Vietnam. I usually dump them in the trash without looking, but I got this one yesterday that is making the rounds again and is a particularly ugly, pernicious smear:

Who is Barack Hussein Obama?

Very interesting and something that should be considered in your choice.

If you do not ever forward anything else, please forward this to all your contacts...this is very scary to think of what lies ahead of us here in our own United States...better heed this and pray about it and share it. We checked this out on "snopes.com". It is factual. Check for yourself. Who is Barack Obama?

Probable U. S. presidential candidate, Barack Hussein Obama was born in Honolulu, Hawaii, to Barack Hussein Obama, Sr., a black MUSLIM from Nyangoma-Kogel, Kenya and Ann Dunham, a white ATHEIST from Wichita, Kansas. Obama's parents met at the University of Hawaii . When Obama was two years old, his parents divorced. Hi s father returned to Kenya . His mother then married Lolo Soetoro, a RADICAL Muslim from Indonesia.? When Obama was 6 years old, the family relocate to Indonesia . Obama attended a MUSLIM school in Jakarta . He also spent two years in a Catholic school.

Obama takes great care to conceal the fact that he is a Muslim. He is quick to point out that, "He was once a Muslim, but that he also attended Catholic school."

Obama's political handlers are attempting to make it appear that that he is not a radical. Obama's introduction to Islam came via his father, and that this influence was temporary at best. In reality, the senior Obama returned to Kenya soon after the divorce, and never again had any direct influence over his son's education.

Lolo Soetoro, the second husband of Obama's mother, Ann Dunham, introduced his stepson to Islam. Obama was enrolled in a Wahabi school i n Jakarta . Wahabism is the RADICAL teaching that is followed by the Muslim terrorists who are now waging Jihad against the western world. Since it is politically expedient to be a CHRISTIAN when seeking major public office in the United States , Barack Hussein Obama has joined the United Church of Christ in an attempt to downplay his Muslim background. ALSO, keep in mind that when he was sworn into office he DID NOT use the Holy Bible, but instead the Koran.

Barack Hussein Obama will NOT recite the Pledge of Allegiance nor will he show any reverence for our flag. While others place their hands over their hearts, Obama turns his back to the flag and slouches.

Let us all remain alert concerning Obama's expected presidential candidacy.

The Muslims have said they plan on destroying the US from the inside out, what better way to start than at the highest level - through the President of the United States , one of their own!!!!

Please forward to everyone you know. Would you want this man leading our country?...... NOT ME!!!

Sigh....

To paraphrase Martin Sheen from Apocalypse Now, the shit is piled up so high in this e-mail, you need wings to stay above it. Here's the response I sent to all:

All:

I usually delete these e-mails, but this is a particularly ugly e-mail that's been making the rounds and I would appreciate the opportunity to set some things straight about the claims made in it. It is filled with inflammatory exaggerations of Senator Obama's background and is intended to play to our worst xenophobic, anti-Muslim fears. One can imagine a simliar type of this message distributed 80 years ago to warn voters of Al Smith's Presidental campaign and the fact that he was a CATHOLIC - religious affiliation marked in capital letters to inflame and scare. This is a shameful tactic and people of all faiths should reject its use.

The facts on Senator Obama are:

- Senator Obama has never been a Muslim (radical or otherwise) at anytime in his life. He has been a member of the United Church of Christ since 1985 and describes himself as a "Christian"
- Senator Obama barely knew his father, who left the family when Obama was 2 years old and died when he was 21. There is no evidence that the senior Obama was a "radical Muslim"
- In his 2006 book The Audacity of Hope, Obama elaborated on his early schooling, explaining that he attended both Catholic and Muslim schools in Indonesia - not out of any particular religious affiliation, but because his mother wanted him to obtain the best possible education under the circumstances. Senator Obama did not attend "radical" or "Wahabi" schools - quite the contrary, Senator Obama is a product of public schools!
- Senator Obama's Indonesian step-father, Lelo Soetoro, was an observant Muslim, but there is no evidence that he was a "radical" or that he applied "radical" teachings about his faith to his stepson
- The statement that "when he (Obama) was sworn into office, he did not use the Bible but instead the (Quran)" is completely false and is most likely a reference to the first elected Muslim to Congress, Rep. Keith Ellison from Minnesota. Also, no religious texts (including the Bible and the Quran) are used during the swearing-in ceremony for new House members. The new members simply stand in front of the speaker's podium, raise the right hands and swear to uphold the Constitution. Many members carry Bibles with them for the post-ceremony photo opportunity with the Speaker of the House (as Rep. Ellison did when he posed with Speaker Nancy Pelosi and a copy of the Quran that was once owned by Thomas Jefferson)

A fuller debunking of this e-mail may be found at the real Snopes.com at the link below:
http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/muslim.asp

I would also urge you to hear Senator Obama's views on the issues that really matter, directly from him:
http://www.barackobama.com/

Yours in honest appraisals of our candidates,
Eric

Friday YouTube Nugget

Welcome back! For the inaugural Nugget for 2008, I'm featuring a song from my favorite album of 2007 - Amy Winehouse's Back To Black. We're all familiar with the sad, tabloid-greased decline Ms. Winehouse has suffered since she hit the big time, but this album leaves little doubt that the girl was born to sing. A voice that practically demands you sit up and take notice, a classically brassy production that is the closest thing to Motown I've heard in years and you have a female soul album that even Ms. Aretha would appreciate. I hope she gets her shit together...the world needs more like her.

Amy Winehouse - "You Know I'm No Good"

Pictures At An Exhibition

January 1, 2008, Ralph Wilson Stadium, Orchard Park NY

Pittsburgh Penguins vs. Buffalo Sabres

"Da Ice Bowl"

"Durrrrr......I got tickets to da outdoor game. Say, is that a blizzard I see headed our way..."

The player's entrance....a special moment

The Ralph at full capacity


Opening Faceoff



Ryan Miller with a nice glove save



The Ralph was rockin' in the 2nd period



"Hey Eric...you've been sitting out in the cold for 3 hours and the game's going to overtime. How do you feel?"

"Hey Eric....Sidney Crosby just scored, so the game's over and we can go back to the car and crank up the heat. What say you?"

My Candidate in 2008

Welp, after this exciting first two weeks in the primary season, I've decided on my candidate. I'm putting my faith in a candidate who carries the hopes and dreams of a free people yearning to restore our proud nation's mission to be the beacon of freedom and hope for a better day.

Also, my candidate rocks almost as much as this song (with apologies to Sadly No! for the blatant steal)



Ain’t a hope in Hell,
Nothing’s gonna bring us down,
The way we fly,
Five miles off the ground,
Because we shoot to kill,
And you know we always will,
It’s Obama, it’s Obama!

Scream a thousand miles,
Feel the black-death-rising moan,
Firestorm coming closer,
Napalm to the bone,
Because, you know we do it right,
A mission every night,
It’s Obama, it’s Obama, it’s Obama…

No night-fighter,
Gonna stop us getting through,
The sirens make you shiver,
You bet my aim is true,
Because, you know, we aim to please,
Bring you to your knees,
It’s Obama, it’s Obama, it’s Obama!

Happy Friggin New Year

Apologies for my churlishness, but I just spent 6 hours out in a blizzard watching the Sabres lose. Again.


More later when the feeling returns to my extremities.

God bless Japanese game shows

I swear I'm going on Amazon right now and pick up every DVD of this show...the 9 minute clip alone has me soiling myself...

Apparently, the premise (such as it is) is a group in a library being subjected to all forms of cruel torture...the catch is that they must remain silent during the brutality. This episode features a guest appearance by one "Ernesto Hoost" - a quick perusal of Wikipedia reveals he is a famous Dutch kickboxer, but I think his best work is on this show.

I feel a twinge of sympathy for the poor bastard who gets picked three or four times in a row for abuse. At least he didn't get picked for "Old Man Bites Tenderly"

Silent Library

Friday YouTube Nugget

For the final nugget of 2007, I'm reaching back to 1980 and an infectious tune from one of my favorites from the nascent days of MTV. With his minor hit, "Ah Leah", here is Donnie Iris:



An interesting footnote on Mr. Iris - he was a "one-hit wonder" three times over. He hit the pop charts the first time in 1970 with his song "The Rapper" performed by his band The Jaggerz. Then, after the inevitable break-up, Donnie made his way to Wild Cherry, who hit the big time with the execrable "Play That Funky Music" in 1976. Donnie went solo a few years after and hit the Top 30 with "Ah Leah".

Fare-thee-well 2007, Aloha 2008

Well, that was a nice long blogging break. I lost the BlogWar and now live in exile from GabsOSteel-ville. Wars are hard.

I anticipate a nice long weekend of blogging about what's happened in the last month....or vegging out in front of the TV watching the Extras series finale for the 10th time. ("was that really Karl Pilkington as the autograph hound?"). Anyway, Friday YouTube nugget on the way...

Absenteeism in Blogging

If this past week has taught me anything, it is that blogging is way down on my priority list. Not necessarily a bad thing....but my higher priorities are work, drinking and more drinking. There are so many things to discuss - the NIE on Iran debacle, the upcoming Presidential primaries, the Led Zeppelin reunion in London, the resurgence of the Bills against the collapse of the Sabres on their West Coast trip - and I'm running out of days to do it before I have to switch into "End-Of-Year" mode. And you know what that means.

Top Ten Lists.....a whole week's worth.

Like Johnny Rotten once sneered, "I'm a lazy sod...."

Paging Emily Post

Scenario: A good friend invites you to go out one evening....you suggest dinner and she agrees. Unfortunately, your job requires you to work late, so you suggest a time slightly later than normal - 7:30 pm. Your friend agrees. You, who have skipped breakfast and lunch because you're such a slave, er, dedicated worker, are starving....but, out of respect and courtesy to your very good friend, you refrain from snacking on anything until dinner. Even when you manage to make it home for a quick 15 minutes before the appointed dinner time. Even when your hunger pangs are about to drive you insane. Even when a co-worker drops off a piece of birthday cake saved especially for you. You abstain, you sacrifice, you suffer....all in the name of basic, common courtesy.

Which you find out means precisely jack shit at dinner when you discover, to your horror, that your dining companion has already eaten a full meal. One and a half hours before this dinner. A full sandwich and a yogurt. You suspected something was amiss when you asked your friend if she would like to split an appetizer, only to be told "I'm getting soup as my entree". Soup.....as an entree. Yep....that should have been the obvious tipoff. Then, your very good friend orders salad and soup, only to cancel the salad five minutes after ordering it.

I guess I should be flattered that my friend thought enough of me to tell me the truth, instead of claiming some "virus" or other such malady that would have curtailed the appetite in the few hours before meeting for dinner. I choose, however, to be amazed that this friend couldn't wait 90 minutes for nourishment.

Woke up, fell outta bed, dragged a comb across my head...

Well, not really a comb. I cut my hair really short last weekend because my bald spot was rearing itself again.

Not much to report so far today. The snow doesn't get me down as much as people who can't drive in snow. It's not a boxcar rally, people!

I'll check in later to document what fun my workday has in store for me

Declaration (of Blog War)

Well, it's on. I accept the challenge issued by Ms. GabsOSteel and pledge to post nothing this week but commentary on my life and other sundry issues. No easy YouTube links or witty image files to fill space on this here blog. You wanted the best, you got the best.

BTW, the good folks at Maker's Mark bourbon seem very receptive to my initial inquiries into corporate sponsorship...

Better Late Than Never Nugget, Neil Young Edition

What can I say....I'm sluggish after a holiday break. To commemorate his excellent recent show at Shea's, Neil Young gets the love this week....from 1983's Everybody's Rockin (which led his record company to sue him for not making "Neil Young" albums), this is Wonderin'.

Monday, Monday

Oy...whatta weekend. So many topics to cover, so this will be more stream-of-consciousness, Spinal Tap Mk IV vibe....

1) Neil Young at Shea's Friday night - Awesome, awesome concert. Easily the best show I've seen all year and probably the best I've seen since the Cream reunion at MSG in 2005. His wife Pegi opened the show with a nice country-folk set. Neil came out for an acoustic set that was something special. He played my personal favorite ("After The Goldrush") and pulled out some surprises ("Harvest" and "Mellow My Mind"). After a break, the full band came out and blew our minds. He opened with two Crazy Horse classics, "The Loner" and "Everybody Knows This Is Nowhere" and never let up. I'm definitely picking up his new album Chrome Dreams II if only for the staggering "No Hidden Path" which clocked in at 25:13 during the concert! Encores were "Cinnamon Girl" and "Like a Hurricane". My friend and I were floored by the whole experience - it's been 20 years since I've seen a show at Shea's and the grand ole' theater did not disappoint. There were some VIP sightings - former Mayor Masiello was sitting four rows in front of us and we did notice, walking past us in the aisle....Thurman Thomas?? I guess ol' Thermal digs Rust Never Sleeps.

2) Sabres vs. Carolina Saturday night - OK, the game was of secondary importance...Buffalo steamrolled the hapless Canes en route to an 8-1 laugher. The real fun began when my buddy and I went out after the game. We ran into the wife of a prominent local businessman who was having a girls night out with her friend. Turns out my friend knows her well, so we were hanging with them most of the evening. They were a lot of fun and even managed to get me dancing. The real revelation was when said wife told me she used to be a Playboy Bunny way back in the day (in the Playboy Club, not in the magazine). I'm not really used to women telling me they had any affiliation with Playboy, so I tried to do the polite thing, but there really is no etiquette for a moment like that. So I looked at her chest.

She was very nice about the whole thing, so no damage done (I think).

3) Bills vs. Redskins on Sunday - It's a good thing Joe Gibbs is suffering from early onset dementia because we really should have lost this game. But for Washington's inexplicable failure to run out the clock in the 4th and Gibbs's mental fog in forgetting you can't call consecutive timeouts to freeze the kicker, we'd be staring down a 5-7 hole today. The defense played superbly, as usual, especially shutting down Clinton Portis. Trent Edwards played well, but he's not setting the offensive world on fire. We'll get nowhere with more zero-offensive touchdown performances like yesterday. Our defense is game, but it ain't the 2000 Ravens D. Once we get healthy (read: the return of Marshawn Lynch), we have be more productive in the red zone.

Also, Joe Gibbs should retire before he embarrasses himself and his organization any further. Has anyone tarnished such an impeccable legacy in so short a time span? That a man who won 3 Super Bowls with 3 different quarterbacks failed to remember what any 7th grader knows about calling consecutive timeouts is a sad commentary on how much the game has passed him by.

We Miss You George

"Watch out now, take care

Beware of the thoughts that linger

Winding up inside your head

The hopelessness around you

In the dead of night

Beware of sadness

It can hit you

It can hurt you

Make you sore and what is more

That is not what you are here for"

-excerpt from Beware of Darkness from All Things Must Pass (1970)