Friday, August 22, 2008

Obama '08: One Spouse, One House



Well, this has certainly been an interesting past few days while waiting for my exclusive (ZOMG!!!111) text from Senator Obama. After pretty much pulling even in most polls after a month of relentless negative advertising, Senator John McCain really went and put his $500 Italian leather loafer in his mouth when he botched this most simple of Q&As:

Q: How many houses do you have?
McCain: I'm not sure....I have to check with my staff. I'll have them get [the number] to you.
Wow...for a politician who is not shy about throwing the "elitist" label at his opponent, Senator McNopoly doesn't sound like a "man of the people" when he stumbles on the number of houses his family has.

The correct answer of course, is multiple houses.....reports vary from four to up to twelve properties that McCain and his wife own. The key words here being "his wife"

You see, my friends, Cindy Lou McCain (nee Hensley) is the heiress to an Arizona beer distributorship that is valued at $100 million dollars. When McCain dumped his disabled wife and three children to marry Cindy in 1980, he signed a prenup that clearly separated his finances from the Hensley family fortune. However, McCain also received a plum job at the distributorship and a healthy infusion of that beer money to fund his first run for Congress in 1982.

So, John McCain is married to a $100 million woman who owns up to 12 luxurious properties around the U.S., all in her name. McCain could have said, in effect, that he doesn't own a single piece of property in the U.S. Of course, he would have to explain that he's been riding a gravy train for the past 28 years and that "Mommy" owns him lock, stock and barrel....but that wouldn't sound too "Mavericky". It would sound like McCain handed over his testicles when he said "I do"

The McCain campaign's initial response to the kefluffle over "Housegate" was another in a disturbing series of exploitative references to what McCain himself has pledged he would never exploit for political gain:

[McCain spokesman Brian Rogers] also added: "This is a guy who lived in one house for five and a half years -- in prison," referring to the prisoner of war camp that McCain was in during the Vietnam War.
Wonderful...."leave my guy alone about the multiple mansions because he was shot down and held prisoner by the Viet Cong 40 years ago". The "noun, verb, POW" defense was also used to defend McCain against charges that he cheated during the evangelical forum he and Obama attended last weekend. What's that line about the well and dipping once too often?

What this amounts to is - while McCain has spent over a month battering Obama with negative ads and speeches attacking him on any number of platforms ("elitist", "celebrity", "no experience", "too exotic-looking" for the Appalachian regions) and has succeeded in raising Obama's negatives in polling, he hasn't focused on one line of attack that would serve to define Obama negatively in the voters' minds. And, yesterday, he handed the Obama campaign the one effective line of attack that would blunt McCain's claims of legitimacy and experience. Obama is already on TV with ads blistering McCain's "experience" of the last 30 years as enjoying the life of Riley on his wife's dime. Obama cannot rely on the common sense of the American voter by saying simply "I will end the war in Iraq, my opponent will continue it for 100 years"...he needs to knock McCain from his imaginary pedestal and reveal to the voters that the Maverick has no clothes (or, at least, any that weren't bought by Suga Momma Cindy).

So, remind me again - who's the elitist in this race? The guy raised by a single mother (at times, on food stamps) who went to Columbia and Harvard Law on merit scholarships? Or the son and grandson of Naval Admirals who married into a $100 million fortune, a sizable chunk of which has underwritten his political career, including this Presidential campaign?

It's a shame that all those millions in advertisting, consulting fees and strategy sessions to come up with an attack plan went up in smoke in the course of one afternoon. Pity.


UPDATE:
Oh thank God.....a bonafide and legitimate surrogate has emerged to defend Senator McLandBaron from these wicked attacks.......Robin Leach:

"He probably was confused as to which homes are in his name, his wife's name, or corporate names," Leach explained in his familiar, deep British baritone. "In his attempt to be honest, he put his foot in his mouth."

FUCKING CRAZIER UPDATE:
This shit is now officially Out. Of. Control.:

The McCains increased their budget for household employees from $184,000 in 2006 to $273,000 in 2007, according to John McCain's tax returns.
Holy shit.....am I to understand, if you consider the median household income in the United States in 2007 was $48, 201, that John McCain and Beer Money Cindy spent over five times as much on servants as the typical household earns in an entire year? Didn't shit like this lead to the French Revolution?

Friday YouTube Nugget

Raging Bull

Raging Composer


This week's installment highlights one of those beautiful melds of film and music. Martin Scorcese's 1980 masterpiece Raging Bull is justifiably regarded as the best film of the 80's and now, almost three decades after its release, it remains a powerful film. One of its greatest legacies (at least for me) was introducing the music of Italian composer Pietro Mascagni to a wide audience. Even kids like me, who regarded opera as something the Viet Cong applied to John McCain to make him confess, were stunned by the juxtaposition of three excerpts of Mascagni's work (the Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana, the Barcarolle from Silvano and the Intermezzo from Guglielmo Ratcliff) with the stark brutality of the prizefighter's world.

The Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana is probably the better-known work from the film, but I have a real affection for the montage of fight stills and home movie clips in the middle of the film set to the Barcarolle from Silvano. Enjoy.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Blog War III is Brung...

Blog War Is Hell


History will record that I was the instigator of this final, bloody chapter in the series of InterWebTube conflicts with my nemesis, GabsOSteel. Sure, it may appear unseemly to pick fights with a peaceful, sensitive blogger who writes about her feelings or some such shit, but damnit, blogging is war! I must defeat the forces of niceness and self-examination that would compel me to write open, honest posts about my life, instead of the vacuous pop culture/political/sports/YouTube snark I live for....Remember the Maine!

Anyhoo, Ms. Gabs has accepted my challenge and fired the first volley in Round Three by exercising in what can generously be called revisionist history. In recounting our first two battles, she seems to forget:


Blog War One:
...in which we switched blogging styles ala Freaky Friday. She posted about sports and YouTube videos and makes the ridiculous claim that I forfeited writing about my feelings. Really? Does this post ring a bell? I think one memorable post on a real-life event, one in which you were the star attraction, more than meets the challenge posed. Blog War One was a draw, y'all.


Blog War Two:
...in which we competed for corporate sponsorship. I will acknowledge that my initial efforts fell short in this endeavor (oh, Maker's Mark....will you ever return my calls?). However, Ms. Gabs' outrageous claim that she is sponsored by the hip new quarterly Greenfern (available at discerning booksellers and opium dens in the Greater Western New York area) is somewhat undercut by the complete and utter lack of Greenfern ads on her blog. Unless she worked out some corporate underwriting shennanigans like what the Chubb Corporation used to do for PBS. What the fuck did the Chubb Corporation do, anyway? Were they a front operation for the Mob? Wikipedia says property and casualty insurance, but who the hell can trust Wikipedia nowadays?

Oh, by the way, I'd like to announce the new corporate sponsor* of The Humanist -


*just as soon as I ask Mike


Blog War Three:
The terms of engagement for this particular contretemps have yet to be defined. We could have a competition to see who gets backlinked first by a prominent, unaffiliated blog, but of course, we all know that I won that battle handily. I'll throw this challenge out....publish a post that receives the most comments. Friends, family, strangers, Scientologists....whomever. The content of the post is up to the author (anything other than "Comment on this post and I'll give you Cash Money!!!") and the comment window closes on the last day in September. Spam comments count, duplicate commenters do not.

What say you, Gabs? I think the mere fact that I got a girly-girl like you to threaten to "beat my ass down" means I've won already.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

No One Wants To Touch (Yeah!) No One Wants To Touch (Yeah!) No One Wants To Touch Him There, There, There, There...

Gary Glitter looking not at all odd or creepy while waiting for recess to end


Convicted child molester and former 70's glam rock star Gary Glitter was released from a Vietnamese prison after a three-year sentence for having sex with children and immediately deported to England, where he'll be forced to register as a sex offender.


I think the appropriate sentence and/or treatment for Mr. Glitter would be to lock him in a room with a stereo and force him to listen to his godawful records nonstop until he inevitably throws himself out the window.

NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA
NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA
NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA
NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA
NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA
NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA
NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA
NA-NA NA-NA-NA-NA-NA.....HEY! NA-NA-NA .....and so on and so on......

Friday, August 15, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget


If you thought last week was bad, I am really going to put you through the paces with this week's installment. Travel with me now back to the dark days of summer 1990 when this legendary piece of shit record spread on the radio and the ol' MTV like some supervirus. Damn Yankees was an unholy alliance of rock suckitude - bringing together members of such awful groups as Styx, Night Ranger and, oh dear....Ted Nugent. If the term "supergroup" wasn't already dead by this point, the musical abortion that was Damn Yankees certainly hammered the final nail in the coffin.

"High Enough" was their big hit - a power ballad so mawkish and insipid that only the video could provide anything in the way of entertainment. While the hair poseurs from Night Ranger and Styx take center stage, the star of this clip is undoubtedly the Nuge. Ted Nugent may be a supremely repellent human being, but he is uproarious in this video....you need only check out his swagger at 2:14 - 2:19, or his "wicked" solo at 3:14 in the midst of a police shootout. Hours of entertainment this provided, back in the day, I tell ya.

"Don't worry about it, ma'am.....jus them Damn Yankees!"


Thursday, August 14, 2008

Greatest album run by a band?

My vote goes to the incredible six-album run by the Who from 1966-1973:




1966: A Quick One
1967: The Who Sell Out
1969: Tommy
1970: Live at Leeds
1971: Who's Next
1973: Quadrophenia

Quite a stunning array of music....you start with two classics of mid-60's power-pop, move onto the most notable rock opera of all, throw in one of the greatest live albums ever recorded, shift into the album many consider the greatest rock album ever and close with the greatest (in my opinion) rock opera of all.
Of course, the Who have put out mostly dogshit in the 35 years since Quadrophenia, but that still doesn't detract from the greatness of this run.
I'll take your nominees in the comments

"....and with the second pick in this year's draft..."


My team, White WRs on Coke, selects.....Purple Jesus.

#28 in your programs, #1 in your hearts.....Adrian Peterson.

I've got quite the backfield....Peterson, Maroney, Jamal Lewis and a hopefully rebuilt Deuce McCallister. Too bad the rest of my team blows.

Oh, and I drafted all Bills for my defensive players - McKelvin, Whitner, Poz and Schobel. I'm as loyal as I am daft

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Go For The General In The General - Obama/Clark '08


In my mind, there is but one choice for Barack Obama for his running mate. That choice must be General Wesley Clark. Sure, it may be controversial, but it's a smart pick both for the short-term electoral strategy in the general election, as well as the more important question of what role the Vice-President will play in the Administration post-Darth Cheney.

Here's what Clark brings to the table:
  • Raised in Little Rock Arkansas, but was born in Chicago and had a paternal great-grandfather who was a Belarusian Jew who emigrated to the U.S. to escape the pogroms
  • Valedictorian of his class at West Point
  • Rhodes scholar at Oxford with a degree in Philosophy, Politics and Economics
  • Master's degree in military science
  • 34 years service in the Army and Department of Defense, including company command in Vietnam from 1969-1970. He was shot four times with an AK-47 but still led his company in a counterattack. He was awarded the Silver Star for his actions.
  • Supreme Allied Commander Europe of NATO from 1997 to 2000....commanded Operation Allied Force in the Kosovo War

I can think of no other VP choice who brings the balance of military experience, foreign policy knowledge and moderate political philosophy quite like Gen. Clark. There are some with foreign policy bonafides (Biden, Richardson, Nunn), but they each are politicians with their own baggage and, in the case of Nunn, have odious opinions on social issues like reproductive rights and LGBT rights. Other candidates who are more appealing to the Democratic base may turn off independents and moderate Republicans and would fail to fill in the gaps (experience, foreign policy expertise) in Obama's campaign.

Clark is a moderate liberal with strong pro-environmental views, and equally strong pro-civil rights stances. He supports equal opportunity for gays in military service. He also advocates return to balancing the federal budget, reduction of the budget and trade deficits, and would nullify the tax cuts for the upper 1% which have been so ruinous to the economy overall and have ballooned our budget deficit. He has suggested providing healthcare for the uninsured by altering the current system.

Clark complements Obama very nicely while not contradicting him on any of the major policy issues an Obama administration will tackle next year. I hope that Obama discounts the hysterics surrounding Gen. Clark's appearance on Face The Nation and sees his best choice for a running mate in Wesley Clark.

And now.....you've been BarackRoll'd, son!!!!


Monday, August 11, 2008

Fearless Leader Enjoys Olympic Opening Ceremony

I throw up in my mouth every time this buffoon travels abroad...what a disgrace:

Georgie checks his watch, wonders if he can get "Mama's Family" on Chinese TV


"wap-wap-wap-wap-wap...when are the 'Murrikans coming by in the parade? Dang!"


Will someone please give this moron a Gameboy or a Sudoku book and keep him off-camera?!!

UPDATE: This photo is too priceless to miss


Friday, August 08, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

I don't know what you all did this week to deserve this, but prepare to receive some Culture Club in your face. FIERCE



Now....where can I get a coffee mug that says "BOY"?

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

The Gang That Couldn't Shoot Straight


At what point do we remove this fog of civility and call these people what they deserve to be called - war criminals:
A new book by the author Ron Suskind claims that the White House ordered the CIA to forge a back-dated, handwritten letter from the head of Iraqi intelligence to Saddam Hussein.

Suskind writes in “The Way of the World,” to be published Tuesday, that the alleged forgery – adamantly denied by the White House – was designed to portray a false link between Hussein’s regime and al Qaeda as a justification for the Iraq war.

The author also claims that the Bush administration had information from a top Iraqi intelligence official “that there were no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq – intelligence they received in plenty of time to stop an invasion.”
My ire is also directed at every Democrat in Congress who voted to give his tinhorn asshole the authority to wipe his ass with the Constitution and send American men and women off to die for his lies. Disgusting.

Friday, August 01, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

I'm going to indulge my affection for those things twee and folksy this week by featuring a live performance by the legendary Fairport Convention. They were considered England's first electric folk band and featured master guitarist Richard Thompson and vocalist Sandy Denny (a.k.a. the chick duetting with Robert Plant on "The Battle of Evermore"). This clip is taken from a 1970 performance at an English county fair.


Friday, July 25, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

Gracious readers:

Hope you all saw my Letter to the Editor in today's News.

You all know I'm not the most sentimental guy in the world, but not even a cynical curmudgeon like me could resist joining in the latest Internet phenomenon. I give you the heartwarming, uplifting, life-affirming tale of Christian the Lion:



Somewhere, Roy Horn is gasping "What a gyp!"

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Johnny Desperado Strikes Again


Forget President, I think he's running for God



It must be quite the season of despair and tumult in the McCain '08 campaign....the last few weeks have not been exactly kind to him. To wit:

  • July 10th - McCain's top economic adviser, Sen. Phil Gramm, takes the high road and calls hard-working taxpayers struggling to cope with skyrocketing costs in every sector of their lives "whiners" who are all lathered up over a "mental recession". Professor Charles Xavier must have unleashed this "mental" recession because it is a motherfucker that has wiped out five banks in one year, including the third-largest collapse in U.S. history.

  • July 16th - It is revealed that, during his first run for the Senate in 1986, Senator McCain told a joke at a fundraiser that is definitely "Maverick"-esque....as in, you have to have some set of balls on you to tell a piece of shit joke like this in public:
According to the Tucson Citizen, here's what McCain, then a two-term Congressman from Mesa, said during his run for the Senate:
"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'"

Charming, isn't it? Just the sort of sparkling wit needed to win over those delusional holdout Hillary supporters. Speaking of the Clintons, don't think they were spared the blade in Johnny's Joke Karavan....even if his target was a teenager. Somehow, I doubt we'd see Obama making "ho" jokes about Cindy McCain.

  • July 21st - Senator McCain graced the Queen City with his presence....or should I say graced his donors because he kept the public and the press at a safe distance. Unless you ponied up megabucks to nibble on tenderloin at Tony Gioia's backyard or cozied up to the candidate at Albright-Knox, you were shit out of luck. Well, he did clear a cool $1 million, which should go a long way to close the $30 million fundraising gap with Obama in the 2nd quarter of this year.

  • July 21st - The unrivaled foreign policy expert in the election apparently forgot about a little land mass between Iraq and Pakistan called Afghanistan

  • July 20-27 - Senator McCain has taunted Obama for weeks about his supposed lack of foreign policy experience and, specifically, his absence in Iraq or Afghanistan over the past two years to see conditions on the ground for himself. Obama's response? Hit the road and make your opponent look like a jackass. Imagine that - the dirty-fucking-hippie-Muslim-Socialist-American-hating candidate being cheered by our troops and respected by international heads of state. Not to mention, Iraq's Prime Minister Maliki endorsed Obama's 16-month troop withdrawal plan, much to the consternation of the McCain campaign and the Bush White House. They apparently thought it was A-OK with the Iraqis if we hung around for a few hundred years. Damn ingrates wanting self-rule!

With Obama's overseas tour continuing in Israel and headed to widely anticipated speeches in Berlin, Paris and London, poor Senator McCain could do little but pout like a spurned ex-girlfriend about how his formerly lickspittlish press sycophants "abandoned" him. Waaaaaa.


And then we come to the sad events of yesterday where, at a town hall meeting in New Hampshire, Senator McCain actually said the following:



Let's look at that quote:

"...It seems to me that Senator Obama would rather lose a war in order to win a political campaign..."

Someone should advise the Senator that this is what he has surrogates and operatives for. Let the 3rd rate hacks from the conservative think tanks and the Fox News idiots spew this garbage. Not only is it unseemly for a Presidential candidate to insult and question his opponent's patriotism, he also accomplished the neat trick of spitting in the face of the better-than-60% of registered voters who want a withdrawal from Iraq along the lines Obama is proposing. Good job in winning those independents over to your side, Senator.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Spoiler Alert

The Dark Knight was a fucking masterpiece and well worth the hype and attention. Although, I could have done without the revelation that Rachel Dawes was really a dude...

Friday, July 18, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

Wow, I am really getting lazy with the posting as of late. No posts since last Friday's Nugget? Bad Humanist!

Anyhoo, I'm taking the afternoon off to join the hordes waiting in line for the movie event of the summer - Mamma Mia!....er, wait, no. The Dark Knight. All these young whippersnappers who think this is an event shoulda been with us in June '89 at the premiere of Tim Burton's Batman. Now THAT was an event!

Here's the classic opening theme to the 60's TV series of Batman. Enjoy

Friday, July 11, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

Greetings and salutations! After a busy week at work and having one of my posts backlinked by a much more reputable (and widely-read) local blog, I'm going to be spending the weekend in Detroit visiting friends. In honor of the Motor City, here's the legendary Motown artist, Marvin Gaye, and my favorite song from his seminal 1971 album, What's Going On

"What's Happenin Brother," like many of the tracks on the album, was inspired by Marvin's brother Frankie and his experiences from a 3-year tour in Vietnam. The album is told from the point of view of a returning veteran coming home to an America in the early 70's in tumult, reeling from social strife, injustice, corruption, poverty, pollution and a host of other maladies. While all the songs on the album are classics, I'm especially taken by the poignancy of "What's Happening Brother" - listen for the lyric "And tell me, friend/How in the world have you been?" - always sends chills down my spine:

Monday, July 07, 2008

The Humanist's Eye on Hollywood - The Mini-Me Sex Tape Scandal

The Happy Couple

I have to admit that I'm fascinated with the travails of one Verne Troyer (aka "Mini-Me" from the Austin Powers film series and.....God knows what else). If you haven't heard, a tape featuring Mr. Troyer and his, ahem, regular-sized live-in girlfriend engaged in el sexo comico was stolen from their possession and a portion of it (no sex, but they are naked and kissing) has made the InterTubes. Yes, I have seen said clip. No, it's not as bad as "2 Girls, 1 Cup" (but it comes damn close). No, I will not post the link, you lazy, sick bastards...find it yourselves!

Verne realizing his girl may not be solely taken by his natural charm

This seemingly run-of-the-mill Hollywood sex tape story intrigues me because it involves an uncommon movie star - a 2'8'' dwarf. My instinctual reaction to the story was revulsion (ewwww....dwarf sex!), but then I considered what this man has endured in his life and the utter miracle that his life has become and I felt remorse. I shouldn't be sickened or repulsed just because this man has the same natural appetites as anyone else. I'd like to think I'm a better person than some shallow heel who laughs at other people's "shortcomings" and physicial disorders....I judge what's inside the man. Yup.

Then I read some of the spicy details Mini-Me's co-star was offering up. Mike Myers should forget about the goofy accented characters and put this shit up on screen....it'll be the funniest thing he's ever done:

  • She nearly drowned him in the bathtub due to sexy bubbles:
"I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub. Sadly, I almost killed him. While Verne was watching TV I ran the bath, emptied a bottle of bubbles in it and called him in. But the bubbles were so thick and high that once he climbed in he got lost under the water and I couldn't see him. Verne's voice is just like it is in the films and as he disappeared under the water, I heard this tiny yelp for help. I could just hear him crying, ‘Ranae, I can't see! Get me out, I'm drowning!' I was frantic and started to scoop the bubbles out so I could find him. The bath was only about 3ft deep but for someone of Verne's size it was like he'd fallen into the deep end of a swimming pool—and he CAN'T swim. "I thought it would be fun to do it in the tub. Sadly I almost killed him. I couldn't believe I'd tried to do something sexy and ended up almost killing him. He looked like a drowned rat."

Comic gold, right? But wait, it gets better....

"Then when I asked, ‘Shall we have sex now?' he was so out of breath he just stomped off with foam on his shiny head and said, ‘I don't feel like it now.' It was dreadful."

I'll bet it was....but not so dreadful that Mini-Me wasn't able to guilt her into getting her freak on with him the next night:

  • Verne Troyer: Porn Auteur
So the next night, when Verne asked her to star in his DIY sex video, guilty Ranae felt duty-bound to agree. She said: "Without a doubt there's nothing Verne enjoys more than seeing himself on screen. Watching his own films is his favourite hobby. So it was no surprise when he asked if he could film us having sex. He said we could use it to get ourselves turned on."
Verne then turned director...telling Ranae where he wanted furniture because he was too small to move it himself. She said: "Verne ordered champagne and strawberries to get us in the mood. Then we got down to it. "First the tape shows Verne pleasuring me for 15 minutes which was amazing. The next 45 minutes is us having sex. And we really enjoyed ourselves."

I guess I should have warned you not to eat before reading the above paragraph....sorry about that.

Some other tidbits about this not-at-all cringe-inducing affair:

  • Mini-Me hates her pet Maltese (avg size - 7-9 inches in height) because when the dog stands up on her back legs, she's taller than the movie star. Bitch.
  • Mini-Me is on the starving college student diet - "Luckily I didn't have to cook much—because after two biscuits Verne is full. One slice of Hawaiian pizza and he's happy for the rest of the day!"
  • To have sex with his 5'6" girlfriend, Mini-Me has to crawl up her legs and, since they can't kiss while having sex, he makes do by pecking her stomach. I'd pay $10 bucks to see that at the cineplex.
  • Mini-Me rides bareback....because he kinda has to...
"It wasn't quite as passionate as sex with a normal-sized man but he did his best. He didn't wear a condom. There was no point, they're all too big.
  • As if that wasn't embarassing enough, his galpal revealed that Mini-Me has to remind her not to hold his hand when they enter a restaurant....lest they look like a mother holding onto her child. Snarf!

OK, yes, I admit it.....I'm a shallow bastard who finds the whole mechanics of this relationship hilarious. He's a big movie star with money, fame and probably more girls who will let him crawl up their legs, so what does he care?

Monday, June 30, 2008

Wes Clark Is Making Sense; Therefore, He Must Be Destroyed



General Wesley Clark on Face The Nation, 6/29/08:


CLARK: Because in the matters of national security policy making, it's a matter of understanding risk. It's a matter of gauging your opponents, and it's a matter of being held accountable. John McCain's never done any of that in his official positions. I certainly honor his service as a prisoner of war. He was a hero to me and to hundreds of thousands and millions of others in Armed Forces as a prisoner of war. He has been a voice on the Senate Armed Services Committee. And he has traveled all over the world. But he hasn't held executive responsibility. That large squadron in the Navy that he commanded — that wasn't a wartime squadron. He hasn't been there and ordered the bombs to fall. He hasn't seen what it's like when diplomats come in and say, "I don't know whether we're going to be able to get this point through or not, do you want to take the risk, what about your reputation, how do we handle this publicly? He hasn't made those calls, Bob.

SCHIEFFER: Can I just interrupt you? I have to say, Barack Obama hasn't had any of these experiences either, nor has he ridden in a fighter plane and gotten shot down.

CLARK: I don’t think getting in a fighter plane and getting shot down is a qualification to become president. (emphasis mine)


I think General Clark is absolutely right in his comments and he's being quite bold in going after McCain's sole advantage in the General Election. A reasonable-thinking person sees the quote above and can discern that, yes Wes Clark, a fellow decorated Vietnam vet, honors John McCain's service and his time in captivity as a POW, but he's saying that being a POW isn't any more or less of a qualification to be president than is being a community organizer and editor of the Harvard Law Review....or a failed oilman and owner of a major league baseball team. McCain will get as much mileage as he can out of his time in captivity; but what has that experience taught him? How has it made him a better candidate? This is a Senator, after all, who is in lockstep with the current administration in wanting to prolong the Iraq debacle another few decades or so. Not to mention the sad spectre of a former POW, a man tortured so severely that he cannot raise his arms above his head, voting to authorize the President to torture whomever he deems worthy.

General Clark isn't "swiftboating" John McCain...he's neither demeaning nor insulting McCain's service in the worst imaginable conditions - he's asking a relevant and wholly legitimate question. How did the 5+ years John McCain suffered as a POW make him a better candidate for President? If the press is going to give McCain a pass on this, why then did they mock and belittle Admiral James Stockdale, Ross Perot's running mate in 1992 and a man who spent 7 years being beaten and tortured in the same POW prison as McCain?

Of course, Republicans desperate for anything to distract the voters away from how badly they've fucked up the nation over the past 7 years will distort Clark's statement and intent as if to show that he's demeaning McCain's service. Nevermind that a scant four years ago, these assholes had no problem questioning the service and patriotism of another Vietnam vet wounded in action:



But in 2008, no one is questioning John McCain's service or his patriotism. Wes Clark just said McCain was a hero of his. No one at the Democratic National Convention will be wearing "Purple Heart Band-Aids" or mock "Hanoi Hilton" pajamas. No Democratic pundit will be appearing on "Hardball" to push the idea that McCain got special treatment in the POW prison or that he should be held accountable for making taped confessions after years of getting his brains beat in.

But let's not pretend that McCain is the second coming of Eisenhower.

P.S. George McGovern, the worst embodiment of liberal evil incarnate in the 20th century and History's Greatest Monster, flew 35 bombing missions in World War II and won the Distinguished Flying Cross as a B-24 pilot without once being shot down or captured. No wonder he got trounced in the electoral college 520-17 against Nixon in '72.

P.P.S. Tonight's statement from Wesley Clark:

"There are many important issues in this Presidential election, clearly one of the most important issues is national security and keeping the American people safe. In my opinion, protecting the American people is the most important duty of our next President. I have made comments in the past about John McCain's service and I want to reiterate them in order be crystal clear. As I have said before, I honor John McCain's service as a prisoner of war and a Vietnam Veteran. He was a hero to me and to hundreds of thousands and millions of others in Armed Forces as a prisoner of war. I would never dishonor the service of someone who chose to wear the uniform for our nation.

John McCain is running his campaign on his experience and how his experience would benefit him and our nation as President. That experience shows courage and commitment to our country - but it doesn't include executive experience wrestling with national policy or go-to-war decisions. And in this area, his judgment has been flawed - he not only supported going into a war we didn't have to fight in Iraq, but has time and again undervalued other, non-military elements of national power that must be used effectively to protect America. But as an American and former military officer, I will not back down if I believe someone doesn't have sound judgment when it comes to our nation's most critical issues.”


Cheers to him for sticking up for his own common sense. Jeers to the Obama campaign for leaving him out to dry.

Friday, June 27, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

Found this a few weeks ago on the ol' YouTube...the haunting, lovely theme from the film Serpico (1973) by Greek composer Mikis Theodorakis. Try not to get shot in the face like Frankie....

Monday, June 23, 2008

Goodnight, Funnyman.....Say Hi To Lenny and Richard For Us

5/12/37 - 6/22/08


Just saw the news this morning that George Carlin died last night of heart failure in Los Angeles. It's a real gutpunch to see someone who shaped your youth and influenced your philosophy so much shuffle off the mortal coil. Carlin and Richard Pryor stand as the two greatest and most impactful figures in American humor in the second half of the twentieth century and it's not that far a stretch to say every comic working today takes some of his massive influence. After all, it was his routine "Seven Words You can Never Say On Television" that resulted in a landmark Supreme Court decision on the government's authority to uphold broadcast indecency standards and the establishment of obscenity-free, family-friendly "prime-time" network broadcasting hours in the evenings. Of course, with the explosion of cable programming over the past two decades, the palate of indecent language has expanded greatly, but when there were only three networks in the game, this was a huge deal.

I can't do justice to Carlin's awesome legacy without posting some of his notable routines, but the IT Nazis at work cut us off from YouTube. I'll post some of my favorites later tonight, but for now, in honor of a comic legend and free speech champion, here are those infamous Seven Words, plus Three auxillary words added to later routines:

Shit
Piss
Fuck
Cunt
Cocksucker
Motherfucker
Tits
*Fart
*Turd
*Twat

Friday, June 20, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

I'm in a happy mood, so from their 1972 tour, here's the Rolling Stones' "Happy":




oh, and because I missed last week, here's my new favorite song - Gnarls Barkley's "Going On":

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

"Not a fan of the ladies, are you...Trebek? Hahahahaha!"

I believe this is where the SNL writers derived the inspiration for all those wonderful "Celebrity Jeopardy" sketches...in a 1995 installment, Lynn Redgrave endures a painful evening on the game show, about to be outclassed by Stephen King and David Duchovny:



Here in the interview section, Alex says what's on everyone's mind at the 0:26 mark:



oh my good Lord, was Lynn Redgrave out of her league. "Artful Dodger", lol:



Mercifully, it ends in Final Jeopardy....and looky-look! She fucked up the one question she should have gotten in a heartbeat! Fucking Tiffany's, bitch! YOU WERE A FAMOUS ACTRESS IN THE 1960's!!! HOW COULD YOU NOT KNOW TIFFANY'S, YOU CRETIN?!!!!



By the way, nice choke, Duchovny. You got beat by Creepshow...lol.

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Thank you, Senator Clinton


An absolutely gracious speech under the most difficult of circumstances. This is exactly what she needed to do and she nailed it.

"Every moment wasted looking back keeps us from moving forward..." Amen.

Friday, June 06, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget - Double Feature!

Due to the momentous week we've just experienced...and because I was a lazy sod last Friday, I'm gracing you with the Official Black National Anthem, Lift Every Voice And Sing (performed by the Boys Choir of Harlem):





and the unofficial Black National Anthem - McFadden & Whitehead's Ain't No Stoppin Us Now:

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

"This was the moment..."

Another Presidential first: the Obama Fistbump



Senator Barack Obama, St. Paul MN, June 3, 2008:



Tonight, after fifty-four hard-fought contests, our primary season has finally come to an end.

Sixteen months have passed since we first stood together on the steps of the Old State Capitol in Springfield, Illinois. Thousands of miles have been traveled. Millions of voices have been heard. And because of what you said - because you decided that change must come to Washington; because you believed that this year must be different than all the rest; because you chose to listen not to your doubts or your fears but to your greatest hopes and highest aspirations, tonight we mark the end of one historic journey with the beginning of another - a journey that will bring a new and better day to America. Tonight, I can stand before you and say that I will be the Democratic nominee for President of the United States.

I want to thank every American who stood with us over the course of this campaign - through the good days and the bad; from the snows of Cedar Rapids to the sunshine of Sioux Falls. And tonight I also want to thank the men and woman who took this journey with me as fellow candidates for President.

At this defining moment for our nation, we should be proud that our party put forth one of the most talented, qualified field of individuals ever to run for this office. I have not just competed with them as rivals, I have learned from them as friends, as public servants, and as patriots who love America and are willing to work tirelessly to make this country better. They are leaders of this party, and leaders that America will turn to for years to come.

That is particularly true for the candidate who has traveled further on this journey than anyone else. Senator Hillary Clinton has made history in this campaign not just because she's a woman who has done what no woman has done before, but because she's a leader who inspires millions of Americans with her strength, her courage, and her commitment to the causes that brought us here tonight.

We've certainly had our differences over the last sixteen months. But as someone who's shared a stage with her many times, I can tell you that what gets Hillary Clinton up in the morning - even in the face of tough odds - is exactly what sent her and Bill Clinton to sign up for their first campaign in Texas all those years ago; what sent her to work at the Children's Defense Fund and made her fight for health care as First Lady; what led her to the United States Senate and fueled her barrier-breaking campaign for the presidency - an unyielding desire to improve the lives of ordinary Americans, no matter how difficult the fight may be. And you can rest assured that when we finally win the battle for universal health care in this country, she will be central to that victory. When we transform our energy policy and lift our children out of poverty, it will be because she worked to help make it happen. Our party and our country are better off because of her, and I am a better candidate for having had the honor to compete with Hillary Rodham Clinton.

There are those who say that this primary has somehow left us weaker and more divided. Well I say that because of this primary, there are millions of Americans who have cast their ballot for the very first time. There are Independents and Republicans who understand that this election isn't just about the party in charge of Washington, it's about the need to change Washington. There are young people, and African-Americans, and Latinos, and women of all ages who have voted in numbers that have broken records and inspired a nation.

All of you chose to support a candidate you believe in deeply. But at the end of the day, we aren't the reason you came out and waited in lines that stretched block after block to make your voice heard. You didn't do that because of me or Senator Clinton or anyone else. You did it because you know in your hearts that at this moment - a moment that will define a generation - we cannot afford to keep doing what we've been doing. We owe our children a better future. We owe our country a better future. And for all those who dream of that future tonight, I say - let us begin the work together. Let us unite in common effort to chart a new course for America.

In just a few short months, the Republican Party will arrive in St. Paul with a very different agenda. They will come here to nominate John McCain, a man who has served this country heroically. I honor that service, and I respect his many accomplishments, even if he chooses to deny mine. My differences with him are not personal; they are with the policies he has proposed in this campaign.

Because while John McCain can legitimately tout moments of independence from his party in the past, such independence has not been the hallmark of his presidential campaign.

It's not change when John McCain decided to stand with George Bush ninety-five percent of the time, as he did in the Senate last year.

It's not change when he offers four more years of Bush economic policies that have failed to create well-paying jobs, or insure our workers, or help Americans afford the skyrocketing cost of college - policies that have lowered the real incomes of the average American family, widened the gap between Wall Street and Main Street, and left our children with a mountain of debt.

And it's not change when he promises to continue a policy in Iraq that asks everything of our brave men and women in uniform and nothing of Iraqi politicians - a policy where all we look for are reasons to stay in Iraq, while we spend billions of dollars a month on a war that isn't making the American people any safer.

So I'll say this - there are many words to describe John McCain's attempt to pass off his embrace of George Bush's policies as bipartisan and new. But change is not one of them.

Change is a foreign policy that doesn't begin and end with a war that should've never been authorized and never been waged. I won't stand here and pretend that there are many good options left in Iraq, but what's not an option is leaving our troops in that country for the next hundred years - especially at a time when our military is overstretched, our nation is isolated, and nearly every other threat to America is being ignored.

We must be as careful getting out of Iraq as we were careless getting in - but start leaving we must. It's time for Iraqis to take responsibility for their future. It's time to rebuild our military and give our veterans the care they need and the benefits they deserve when they come home. It's time to refocus our efforts on al Qaeda's leadership and Afghanistan, and rally the world against the common threats of the 21st century - terrorism and nuclear weapons; climate change and poverty; genocide and disease. That's what change is.

Change is realizing that meeting today's threats requires not just our firepower, but the power of our diplomacy - tough, direct diplomacy where the President of the United States isn't afraid to let any petty dictator know where America stands and what we stand for. We must once again have the courage and conviction to lead the free world. That is the legacy of Roosevelt, and Truman, and Kennedy. That's what the American people want. That's what change is.

Change is building an economy that rewards not just wealth, but the work and workers who created it. It's understanding that the struggles facing working families can't be solved by spending billions of dollars on more tax breaks for big corporations and wealthy CEOs, but by giving a the middle-class a tax break, and investing in our crumbling infrastructure, and transforming how we use energy, and improving our schools, and renewing our commitment to science and innovation. It's understanding that fiscal responsibility and shared prosperity can go hand-in-hand, as they did when Bill Clinton was President.

John McCain has spent a lot of time talking about trips to Iraq in the last few weeks, but maybe if he spent some time taking trips to the cities and towns that have been hardest hit by this economy - cities in Michigan, and Ohio, and right here in Minnesota - he'd understand the kind of change that people are looking for.

Maybe if he went to Iowa and met the student who works the night shift after a full day of class and still can't pay the medical bills for a sister who's ill, he'd understand that she can't afford four more years of a health care plan that only takes care of the healthy and wealthy. She needs us to pass health care plan that guarantees insurance to every American who wants it and brings down premiums for every family who needs it. That's the change we need.

Maybe if he went to Pennsylvania and met the man who lost his job but can't even afford the gas to drive around and look for a new one, he'd understand that we can't afford four more years of our addiction to oil from dictators. That man needs us to pass an energy policy that works with automakers to raise fuel standards, and makes corporations pay for their pollution, and oil companies invest their record profits in a clean energy future - an energy policy that will create millions of new jobs that pay well and can't be outsourced. That's the change we need.

And maybe if he spent some time in the schools of South Carolina or St. Paul or where he spoke tonight in New Orleans, he'd understand that we can't afford to leave the money behind for No Child Left Behind; that we owe it to our children to invest in early childhood education; to recruit an army of new teachers and give them better pay and more support; to finally decide that in this global economy, the chance to get a college education should not be a privilege for the wealthy few, but the birthright of every American. That's the change we need in America. That's why I'm running for President.

The other side will come here in September and offer a very different set of policies and positions, and that is a debate I look forward to. It is a debate the American people deserve. But what you don't deserve is another election that's governed by fear, and innuendo, and division. What you won't hear from this campaign or this party is the kind of politics that uses religion as a wedge, and patriotism as a bludgeon - that sees our opponents not as competitors to challenge, but enemies to demonize. Because we may call ourselves Democrats and Republicans, but we are Americans first. We are always Americans first.

Despite what the good Senator from Arizona said tonight, I have seen people of differing views and opinions find common cause many times during my two decades in public life, and I have brought many together myself. I've walked arm-in-arm with community leaders on the South Side of Chicago and watched tensions fade as black, white, and Latino fought together for good jobs and good schools. I've sat across the table from law enforcement and civil rights advocates to reform a criminal justice system that sent thirteen innocent people to death row. And I've worked with friends in the other party to provide more children with health insurance and more working families with a tax break; to curb the spread of nuclear weapons and ensure that the American people know where their tax dollars are being spent; and to reduce the influence of lobbyists who have all too often set the agenda in Washington.

In our country, I have found that this cooperation happens not because we agree on everything, but because behind all the labels and false divisions and categories that define us; beyond all the petty bickering and point-scoring in Washington, Americans are a decent, generous, compassionate people, united by common challenges and common hopes. And every so often, there are moments which call on that fundamental goodness to make this country great again.

So it was for that band of patriots who declared in a Philadelphia hall the formation of a more perfect union; and for all those who gave on the fields of Gettysburg and Antietam their last full measure of devotion to save that same union.

So it was for the Greatest Generation that conquered fear itself, and liberated a continent from tyranny, and made this country home to untold opportunity and prosperity.

So it was for the workers who stood out on the picket lines; the women who shattered glass ceilings; the children who braved a Selma bridge for freedom's cause.

So it has been for every generation that faced down the greatest challenges and the most improbable odds to leave their children a world that's better, and kinder, and more just.

And so it must be for us.

America, this is our moment. This is our time. Our time to turn the page on the policies of the past. Our time to bring new energy and new ideas to the challenges we face. Our time to offer a new direction for the country we love.

The journey will be difficult. The road will be long. I face this challenge with profound humility, and knowledge of my own limitations. But I also face it with limitless faith in the capacity of the American people. Because if we are willing to work for it, and fight for it, and believe in it, then I am absolutely certain that generations from now, we will be able to look back and tell our children that

this was the moment when we began to provide care for the sick and good jobs to the jobless;

this was the moment when the rise of the oceans began to slow and our planet began to heal;

this was the moment when we ended a war and secured our nation and restored our image as the last, best hope on Earth.

This was the moment - this was the time - when we came together to remake this great nation so that it may always reflect our very best selves, and our highest ideals. Thank you, God Bless you, and may God Bless the United States of America.

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Hey Bo Diddley

In honor of a true rock pioneer and in anticipation of a pretty large celebration tomrorrow...

HEY BO DIDDLEY


Wednesday, May 28, 2008

We Shall Overcome

My heart was full and my sense of social justice was very pleased by the recent California Supreme Court decision legalizing gay marriage for the state. And more good news followed this week - the voters of California seem loathe to overturn the Court's decision:

The Field Poll result, released today, shows the highest level of support in more than three decades of polling Californians on the hot-button issue of same-sex marriage laws. The poll found 51 percent of registered voters favor the idea of allowing gay and lesbian couples to wed, while 42 percent disapprove.

What this indicates, I hope, is "So goes California, so goes the rest of the nation." There's a long fight ahead, as eighteen states have passed various anti-gay, "defense of marriage" amendments to their respective state constitutions in the past two federal election cycles. Twenty-seven states include some form of restriction on same-sex marriage currently. It will most likely be a state-by-state battle to restore civil rights and equal opportunity for a minority that's been demonized and marginalized for far too long.

The crux of the matter here is not "special rights," as conservatives love to bray - it is simply recognizing equal rights for adult, tax-paying gay and lesbian Americans (living will designees, property inheritance, hospital visitation, etc.) as straight Americans enjoy. As far as the "threat to straight marriages" canard goes, I doubt the the "spectre" of Adam and Steve or Ellen and Portia getting hitched drove Vito Fossella to knock up his secret lover or Larry Craig to cruise airport bathrooms for dick or David Vitter to get in a diaper for a romp with a prostitute. And it sure as hell didn't prevent Bill Clinton from getting a squeezer from an intern in the Oval Office before he signed the repugnant Defense of Marriage Act into law.

Gay and lesbian citizens have fought for this country, they've been responsible for advances in medicine and technology, they've been captains of industry and have been the most grassroots of organizers. They've held elected office and have inspired the political structure from the outside.

I won't even begin to list the contributions gay and lesbian artists have made to the books we read, the music we listen to, the TV shows and movies we watch, the live theater that entertains us, the art we appreciate, the sculptures that impress us, the poems that inspire us, etc.

They are our co-workers, our neighbors, our friends, our classmates, our bar-mates and our family. They are us and we are them.

Idealist that I am, I imagine this time as analogous to the late 50's/early 60's, where a Supreme Court decision (Brown v. Board of Education) gave fuel to a nascent civil rights movement and a gradual shift in public sentiment in favor of desegregation. I trust it won't take Bull Connor and the Birmingham police turning hoses on protesters to move the national mood in favor of recognizing that same-sex couples deserve the same rights as their straight counterparts. Nor do I look forward to a Federal act, on the level of the Civil Rights Act and Voting Rights Act, which inspires, in spite of lofty goals, generations of resentment and political polarization in less-tolerant segments of the nation. States must decide if they want to be on the right, or wrong, side of history.

I'm overjoyed for my business school classmates in California who have been waiting for this ruling for well over a decade and a half and for same-sex couples throughout the state who have been given overdue respect by the state's constitutional authority. I hope this movement spreads eastward and graces all the states in the union with equality for all of our citizens.

It is because I love them dearly and want only for this country to respect them as much as I do that I echo that old anthem -


WE SHALL OVERCOME



UPDATE:
New York State is onboard. Thanks Gov. Paterson

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Mayor Six-Pack

Sixteen years in office. Sixteen years as the chief executive of the city. The longest serving mayor in our city's history. The dominant political figure in WNY in parts of three decades.

It is difficult, in this era, to fully appreciate the impact of Jimmy Griffin's reign in Buffalo. Under his leadership, the city ended up with the Buffalo Hilton (now the Adam’s Mark), Waterfront development (most notably, townhouses), the Hyatt Regency, the General Cinema in the Market Arcade, a restored Shea’s Buffalo and the HSBC Bank Atrium, and the crown jewel of his administration - Dunn Tire Park.

I say it is difficult because these achievements are overshadowed by the failures of his administration and the rapid decline of the city's fortunes during and after his reign. Despite his constant promotion of the city and battles with the state and his own Common Council over funding, we sit 30 years after he took office faced with the following:

  • A startling exodus from the city that has reduced our numbers to under 250,000
  • Double-digit increases in the crime rate
  • Chronic underfunding of the city's public schools
  • Patronage systems installed in city departments, from the Police to the parks
  • Neighborhoods, such as the East Side, ignored and allowed to rot for 20+ years

My own memories of Griffin are vague...though he was in office for most of the time I was growing up here, I left in 1989. I remember him as something of a political clown - someone who reveled in ginned-up conflicts with other officials so he could puff out his chest and show his loyal constituents what a "tough guy" he was. Whether he was walking off "A.M. Buffalo" after the interviewer had enough of his rudeness or sucker-punching the County Parks Commissioner outside the downtown ballpark or comparing Buffalo News reporters to convicted criminals, "Mayor Jimmy" never shied away from an opportunity to promote himself at the expense of others.

Of course, one would not expect a hardscrabble, bareknuckled neighborhood politician like Griffin to be the most progressive person in the room, but he seemed to revel in taking shots at groups who didn't put money in his or his cronies' pockets:

  • On LGBT citizens: "They are fruits and queers. They're not 'gay' because that means happy, not homosexual."
  • On Parks Department workers upset over the 1990 scandal: "They're malcontents and stool pigeons."
  • On welcoming Operation Rescue to Buffalo: "An abortionist is probably on a level with reporters. I don't know who's worse or who is better."

I agree with Donn Esmonde's assessment in today's News that the positive legacy that Griffin leaves is tarnished by his pettiness, his self-aggrandizement and inability to compromise. He was, and is, beloved for his charisma, considerable charm (if he liked you or was trying to get your vote) and common touch. He may be our best personification of Tip O'Neill's line about "all politics is local". However, that "local touch" ultimately did little to advance the city or its people.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Nothing's Shocking

Hoo boy...the general election is going to be a cavalcade of mirth if this clip is any indication of the tenor of discourse to come in the fall. Of course, it would be unfair to paint the entire network as promoting this kind of garbage, because you would never, ever, ever find this kind of filth on their broadcasts.

Fox News: Fair and Balanced and Purposefully "Confusing" a Presidential Candidate and the World's Leading Terrorist and Wishing Death on Them Both:



UPDATE: Apparently, the Fox News personality, Liz Trotta , offered an "apology" for her disgraceful comment. I leave it up to you to judge the sincerity of her remorse:

Saturday, May 24, 2008

Friday, May 23, 2008

Experience We Can Laugh At

Ladies and Gentlemen - your Republican nominee for President, Senator John McCain





My favorite part is where Joe Lieberman has to stage-whisper to him that Al-Queda is not, actually, in Iran. Brilliant.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

God's Will

While we have been (and will continue to) enjoying the pundit blathering about how devastating and injurious Pastor Wright has been to the Obama campaign, John McCain's own crazy pastor, John Hagee, has been quietly telling his flock that the Nazi menace and the Holocaust was.....wait for it.....God's will. Praise be and lordy-lord.

I expect a week-long expose on this on the Fox News Channel, CNN, MSNBC....oh wait, that's right! They only care about crazy black preachers.

UPDATE: It's about goddamn time. We've only known about this insane clown pastor for, I don't know, half a year.

Kentucky Fried Candidate

Great night for Hillary, but Obama is within inches of the nomination....here's the straight dope:

(2,026 delegates needed to clinch the nomination)
Obama: 1,656.5 pledged delegates, 304.5 SuperDelegates = 1,961 Total Delegates
Clinton: 1,501.5 pledged delegates, 277.5 SuperDelegtates = 1,779 Total Delegates
Remaining Delegates: 86 pledged, 214 SuperDelegates = 300 Total Delegates

Obama needs only 64 delegates to clinch the nomination....Clinton needs 246 and, soon, the number of delegates she needs to clinch will be more than the total number of remaining delegates, pledged or otherwise.

Last night was a big night for the Clinton campaign as she trounced Obama in Kentucky by 35 points and a margin of 250,000 votes. However, that victory was rendered virtually meaningless as Obama picked up enough delegates (14) in Kentucky to clinch the majority of pledged delegates. He went on to win Oregon (no surprise there) by 16 points and regain almost 100,000 votes he lost to Clinton in KY.

There is no way Hillary can pick up enough delegates in the remaining primaries (Puerto Rico on June 1, Montana and South Dakota on June 3) to catch Obama. Her only hope is to sway enough SuperDelegates to overlook the facts that she's lost every conceivable metric in these primaries (popular vote, primaries, caucuses, and the only one that counts - delegates) and that her campaign released the news last night that she is $20 million in debt. An attractive combination to any Democratic SuperDelegate, indeed (/snark).

The Clinton campaign has morphed into Don Quixote on HGH....they are pulling out any and every justification for staying in the race, even though, as of 9 pm last night, the "race" was officially over. The cable news coverage was replete with these knee-slappers from Clinton surrogates:

1) "Hillary leads in the popular vote..." - uh, well yes...but only if you count Florida and Michigan, which actually don't count because they violated DNC rules for moving up in the primary calendar and had their state primaries voided as a result. They're also not counting sixteen four states that held caucuses instead of primaries (IA, NV, ME, and WA), all but three of which but Nevada were won by Obama. This is akin to saying that the New England Patriots scored more points in Super Bowl XLII, if you don't count the final touchdown the Giants scored in the fourth quarter. Or the field goal NY kicked in the 1st quarter. In any case, this point is meaningless because popular vote doesn't count - delegates do.

2) "Hillary is the stronger candidate in the general election..." - we can discount this right off the bat as the stronger candidate in general elections is usually the candidate who wins the party nomination. Apart from that, looking at the electoral map, Hillary won the Northeast and Rust Belt states that will reliably go to the Democrats in the fall (NY, NJ, PA, MA) as well as California. However, Obama started with a stunning victory in Iowa and proceeded to cut a swath through the Deep South (AL, GA, SC, NC, MS, LA) and pick up impressive victories in the Mid- and Northwest (ID, KS, ND, CO, NE, WY). Basically, Hillary cleaned up on states that will most likely go to Democrats in the General Election while Obama drove record turnout in states which haven't voted for a Democrat for President since the mid-1960's. Couple that with the assumption that putting a Clinton on the ticket makes the GOTV (Get Out The Vote) efforts of the GOP that much easier due to the Hillary-Hate on that side has to convince the SDs that Obama is the Democrats' best and only option.

3) "Hillary voters will rebel if she is not the nominee" - ah, the lamentations of the unfulfilled and bitter. TV pundits are making a lot of hay out of exit polls showing that between 20-40% of Hillary voters will not vote for Obama in the general election if he is the nominee. They will either vote for McCain or not vote for President at all. I'm not too concerned about this at this juncture because a) Hillary is still in the race and b) once we Democrats calm down and consider the spectre of a McCain presidency, cooler heads will prevail and the jilted Hillary supporters will return to the fold. How the Democratic convention plays out and how much of a role Hillary plays in it will go a long way to determining how her supporters will act. While I'm hoping she's not Obama's VP selection, she may extort that out of Obama and the party leaders in exchange for her dropping out of the race.

4) "The 'hard-working, white' voters who supported Hillary will never vote for Obama" - this, of course, is in reference to the 20% of Hillary voters in Kentucky and West Virginia who, in exit polls, admitted that race was a major factor in their vote. No, they won't vote for a black candidate, so fuck them. Let them continue voting against their own self-interest (jobs, schools, healthcare, energy, the environment) because they're scared of black people. Appalachia will benefit from a Democrat in the White House, just the same as everyone else.

So, we now look to the the big powow on May 30, where representatives from both campaigns will meet with DNC officials to discuss how the Michigan and Florida delegates will be seated and if Hillary exits the campaign with dignity or with guns-a-'blazing. Stay tuned.

Oh, and in response to the inane criticism that Obama's support is based only on a narrow coalition of young, snot-nosed punk kids and blacks:

Myrtle Strong Enemy, 101, waits for US Democratic presidential candidate and US Senator Barack Obama, (D-IL), to speak in Crow Agency, Montana May 19, 2008

UPDATE: had my facts wrong on the number of caucuses the Clinton folks are "dis"counting toward the popular vote total



Friday, May 16, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

From one of the greatest debut albums of all time, this is the Velvet Underground featuring Nico with I'll Be Your Mirror

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

A Change Has Come....

"Bush says gave up golf in solidarity with Iraq dead" - Mass Grave Rolling Ensues


WASHINGTON (Reuters) - President George W. Bush said on Tuesday he quit playing golf in 2003 out of respect for the families of Americans killed in the war in Iraq.

"I don't want some mom whose son may have recently died to see the Commander-in-Chief playing golf," Bush said in an interview with Yahoo and Politico.com

"I feel I owe it to the families to be as -- to be in solidarity as best as I can with them. And I think playing golf during a war just sends the wrong signal," he said.


Personally, I think being a titanic fuckup, the "EPIC FAIL" of all American Presidents, during two wars sends the wrong signal, but hey....that's me.

George W. Bush - Sacrificing His Leisure Time For You Ungrateful Bastards

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Desert Island Discs

This post was inspired by a comment I just left on Mr. Livingston's haughty blog (35 books on the Telegraph's list of Greatest Library? Congrats, nerd....I have 100% of the items from Penthouse's Greatest Bachelor Pad). I mentioned that I own all of the Top 20 albums which have been recognized as the Greatest of All Time (this site will suck you in worse than heroin - http://www.besteveralbums.com/overall.php) and it got me to thinking....while I enjoy and respect these landmark albums, do really listen to them anymore? I don't think I've sat down and listened to Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, for example, in a good decade because I listened to it non-stop for the decade before that. Also, I find parts of The Joshua Tree excruciating.

So what, then, do I consider the greatest albums of all time? Placed in the context of a popular parlour game, which 10 CDs do take with me to the desert island to enjoy for the remainder of my time on Earth? The only rules are:


  • no Greatest Hits
  • no live albums
  • rock n' roll only.....assume this island has a deep library of classical, jazz, spoken-word, etc.
  • no movie soundtracks
1) Songs In The Key Of Life, Stevie Wonder (1976)
2) Odelay!, Beck (1996)
3) A Rush of Blood To The Head, Coldplay (2002)
4) Electric Ladyland, Jimi Hendrix (1968)
5) American Beauty, Grateful Dead (1970)
6 Are You Gonna Go My Way, Lenny Kravitz (1993)
7) All Things Must Pass, George Harrison (1970)
8) Imagine, John Lennon (1971)
9) Sabbath Bloody Sabbath, Black Sabbath (1973)
10) At War With The Mystics, The Flaming Lips (2006)

Feel free to add yours in the Comments...

Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

to all you mothas out there

Friday, May 09, 2008

Friday YouTube Nugget

In honor of this week's primary results and the iminent nomination of Senator Obama as the first black candidate for President from a major party in our nation's history, I feel drawn to Sam Cooke's landmark song, A Change Is Gonna Come. Though only a modest hit upon its initial release in 1963, the song soon became an anthem for the Civil Rights Movement and has inspired generations of Americans in the years since. Legend has it that Cooke was moved to write the song after hearing Bob Dylan's Blowin In the Wind and desired to write a song of hope for the ongoing civil rights fight. Indeed, where Dylan's song asks "How many years can some people exist/before they're allowed to be free?", Cooke's song answers "It's been a long, long time coming/but I know a change gonna come, oh yes it will"

I'm sure I'll get much more dramatic and maudlin as we get closer to the Democratic convention and that moment when the first person of color steps up to the podium and accepts his party's nomination for President....for now, these are moments in history that I will treasure for life. I can only look back at the struggles and sacrifices made by those who came before us...and look ahead to a future of true brotherhood and community.

It's been a long, long time coming
But I know a change gonna come....oh yes it will

Thursday, May 08, 2008

More GOP "Family Values" in action: From Beer to Paternity

BEFORE


AFTER


OH SHIT


It shocks me.....shocks me when a member of the holier-than-thou club gets caught pants down, ass up, drunk in a car, yadda, yadda, yadda. This story, though, is right up there with Senator Widestance for pure deviant goodness. After all, it isn't often than a U.S. Representative compounds his drunk driving arrest by getting picked up by his mistress, who also happens to be the mother of his 3-year old daughter! Here's to you, Rep. Vito Fossella (R-NY)...you're doing a smash-up job representing the good people of your Staten Island and Brooklyn districts! No matter that you're a Bush-supporting war whore and a campaign fund embezzler. You're a bigger pimp than 50 Cent. Wowie!

Fossella's private life came under scrutiny after he was arrested for drunk driving last week in suburban Virginia. He has a court date next week, and could face jail time if convicted. Fossella told police at the time of his arrest that he was going to see his daughter in the area.

Fossella has three children with his wife in Staten Island, N.Y. Fosella says he knows there are questions about his political future. But he says right now any political decisions are "the furthest thing from my mind."

Of course "political decisions" are the furthest thing from his mind because his top priority now is avoiding castration while he sleeps thanks to his poor wife who just learned there's a new addition to the family!

Do I even need to guess where this paragon of virtue and morals stands on the issues of the day?
1) Woman's right to choose: 0% rating from NARAL, meaning anti-choice nutjob
2) Civil rights: voted for banning gay marriage and defining marriage as one-man, one-woman. Wasn't given the opportunity to define it as one-man, one-woman, one-mistress and one-bastard-child. Given a 7% rating by the ACLU and 0% by the Human Rights Campaign meaning if you like your civil rights, Vito don't like you.
3) Education: has consistently voted against funding for federal education, particularly grants for black and Hispanic colleges. He does support requiring schools to allow prayer (I wasn't aware that students were prohibited from praying). Perhaps young Vito was praying during the day in school where his class was taught that when you get marrried, you shouldn't be putting your sword in another woman's sheath....and wear a rubber, for Christ's sake man!
4) Families: 81% rating from the Christian Coalition, check....
Also voted YES on legislation on responsible fatherhood via faith-based organizations. Heh.

Rep. Fossella vows he will not give up his seat, not will he abandon his re-election campaign. I wish him the best of luck and advise that he should bring in John McCain for campaign events as much as he can....they can compare stories about fucking around on their wives for years.

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Dear Senator Clinton:


You are free to leave the race at any time....but preferably sooner than later.

Yours,
Democrats Everywhere

http://hillaryis404.org/