Can't. Turn. Away. Won't. Turn. Away. Televised. Opium.

Welcome to another exciting season of American Idol!

I'm not as addicted as I used to be, but God-damn, I love me some AI Audition trainwrecks. My favorite tonight was the Star Wars nerd girrl whose gruff exterior no doubt masks some heavy, bitter pain that's been internalized way too long. And fake Leia curls? Boooo!

Anyway, the classic moment occurs right after her inevitable rejection by the panel. She storms outside, into the waiting arms of her normal-looking grandparents, who I'm sure are thrilled that their legacy dresses like a bondage slut and boasts about being the belle of the ball at a Star Wars 30th anniversary convention. Grandpappy was positively beaming.

Faux-Leia is screaming and cursing up a storm about how they won't give somebody different-looking a chance (apparently, young Leia forgot what show she's auditioning for) and Grandpappy is trying to shush her...no doubt motivated by his belief that people on TV shouldn't swear. This guy probably holds The Glen Campbell Goodtime Hour as his model for how people on TV should act. Granny and Gramps are hugging their poor, misbegotten nieta to calm her down and....oops! One of Faux Leia's ear curls falls right off! Snark!

I never laughed as hard this week as I did when Grandpappy kept trying to hand her back her curl while Leia the Drama Queen was ranting about postmodern biases on television against non-mainstream people, or some such shit. Damn, this season is going to be good....

UPDATE - as per Greg's request, here's a video of the whole sad saga