Johnny Desperado Strikes Again

Forget President, I think he's running for God

It must be quite the season of despair and tumult in the McCain '08 campaign....the last few weeks have not been exactly kind to him. To wit:

• July 10th - McCain's top economic adviser, Sen. Phil Gramm, takes the high road and calls hard-working taxpayers struggling to cope with skyrocketing costs in every sector of their lives "whiners" who are all lathered up over a "mental recession". Professor Charles Xavier must have unleashed this "mental" recession because it is a motherfucker that has wiped out five banks in one year, including the third-largest collapse in U.S. history.


• July 16th - It is revealed that, during his first run for the Senate in 1986, Senator McCain told a joke at a fundraiser that is definitely "Maverick"-esque....as in, you have to have some set of balls on you to tell a piece of shit joke like this in public:

According to the Tucson Citizen, here's what McCain, then a two-term Congressman from Mesa, said during his run for the Senate:
"Did you hear the one about the woman who is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die? When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, 'Where is that marvelous ape?'"

Charming, isn't it? Just the sort of sparkling wit needed to win over those delusional holdout Hillary supporters. Speaking of the Clintons, don't think they were spared the blade in Johnny's Joke Karavan....even if his target was a teenager. Somehow, I doubt we'd see Obama making "ho" jokes about Cindy McCain.

• July 21st - Senator McCain graced the Queen City with his presence....or should I say graced his donors because he kept the public and the press at a safe distance. Unless you ponied up megabucks to nibble on tenderloin at Tony Gioia's backyard or cozied up to the candidate at Albright-Knox, you were shit out of luck. Well, he did clear a cool $1 million, which should go a long way to close the $30 million fundraising gap with Obama in the 2nd quarter of this year.


• July 21st - The unrivaled foreign policy expert in the election apparently forgot about a little land mass between Iraq and Pakistan called Afghanistan

• July 20-27 - Senator McCain has taunted Obama for weeks about his supposed lack of foreign policy experience and, specifically, his absence in Iraq or Afghanistan over the past two years to see conditions on the ground for himself. Obama's response? Hit the road and make your opponent look like a jackass. Imagine that - the dirty-fucking-hippie-Muslim-Socialist-American-hating candidate being cheered by our troops and respected by international heads of state. Not to mention, Iraq's Prime Minister Maliki endorsed Obama's 16-month troop withdrawal plan, much to the consternation of the McCain campaign and the Bush White House. They apparently thought it was A-OK with the Iraqis if we hung around for a few hundred years. Damn ingrates wanting self-rule!

With Obama's overseas tour continuing in Israel and headed to widely anticipated speeches in Berlin, Paris and London, poor Senator McCain could do little but pout like a spurned ex-girlfriend about how his formerly lickspittlish press sycophants "abandoned" him. Waaaaaa.

And then we come to the sad events of yesterday where, at a town hall meeting in New Hampshire, Senator McCain actually said the following:



Let's look at that quote:

"...It seems to me that Senator Obama would rather lose a war in order to win a political campaign..."

Someone should advise the Senator that this is what he has surrogates and operatives for. Let the 3rd rate hacks from the conservative think tanks and the Fox News idiots spew this garbage. Not only is it unseemly for a Presidential candidate to insult and question his opponent's patriotism, he also accomplished the neat trick of spitting in the face of the better-than-60% of registered voters who want a withdrawal from Iraq along the lines Obama is proposing. Good job in winning those independents over to your side, Senator.