Blog War Is HellHistory will record that I was the instigator of this final, bloody chapter in the series of InterWebTube conflicts with my nemesis, GabsOSteel. Sure, it may appear unseemly to pick fights with a peaceful, sensitive blogger who writes about her feelings or some such shit, but damnit, blogging is war! I must defeat the forces of niceness and self-examination that would compel me to write open, honest posts about my life, instead of the vacuous pop culture/political/sports/YouTube snark I live for....Remember the Maine!
Anyhoo, Ms. Gabs has accepted my challenge and fired the first volley in Round Three by exercising in what can generously be called revisionist history. In recounting our first two battles, she seems to forget:
Blog War One:
...in which we switched blogging styles ala Freaky Friday. She posted about sports and YouTube videos and makes the ridiculous claim that I forfeited writing about my feelings. Really? Does this post ring a bell? I think one memorable post on a real-life event, one in which you were the star attraction, more than meets the challenge posed. Blog War One was a draw, y'all.
Blog War Two:
...in which we competed for corporate sponsorship. I will acknowledge that my initial efforts fell short in this endeavor (oh, Maker's Mark....will you ever return my calls?). However, Ms. Gabs' outrageous claim that she is sponsored by the hip new quarterly Greenfern (available at discerning booksellers and opium dens in the Greater Western New York area) is somewhat undercut by the complete and utter lack of Greenfern ads on her blog. Unless she worked out some corporate underwriting shennanigans like what the Chubb Corporation used to do for PBS. What the fuck did the Chubb Corporation do, anyway? Were they a front operation for the Mob? Wikipedia says property and casualty insurance, but who the hell can trust Wikipedia nowadays?
Oh, by the way, I'd like to announce the new corporate sponsor* of The Humanist -
*just as soon as I ask Mike
Blog War Three:
The terms of engagement for this particular contretemps have yet to be defined. We could have a competition to see who gets backlinked first by a prominent, unaffiliated blog, but of course, we all know that I won that battle handily. I'll throw this challenge out....publish a post that receives the most comments. Friends, family, strangers, Scientologists....whomever. The content of the post is up to the author (anything other than "Comment on this post and I'll give you Cash Money!!!") and the comment window closes on the last day in September. Spam comments count, duplicate commenters do not.
What say you, Gabs? I think the mere fact that I got a girly-girl like you to threaten to "beat my ass down" means I've won already.
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